The Love I Never Thought I Had
by Boo112
Summary: Carla has started to reveal to Peter bits about her background...So Carla decides to turn the tables and ask Peter about his...
1. Chapter 1

_**So I know that some other people have written fics about Carla's background and Corrie themselves are starting to dig into it a bit. But I didn't wanna steal anyone's thunder so I thought I'd have a little fic about Peter's background. (: **_

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Carla sat herself down onto the sofa next to Peter after a long-day at work. Things hadn't been great recently, what with Rob & Tracy and all of that…..But Peter had been there for her all of the way through-it, and Carla just felt that she owed-him some time alone together…..As a couple…..Just chatting.

Carla put her nearest-arm around Peter's shoulders and draped-her hand on the far-side of his neck as she lovingly rubbed his leg with her spare-hand.

"So then Mr Barlow…" She began.

"Yes?!" Peter asked with a small-smirk on his face as he turned his neck to look Carla directly into the eyes.

"You now know everything there is to know about my past…..Now it's your turn….." She told Peter cheekily, but Peter just sighed.

"Do we have to? I mean you already know about my past don't ya?!" He asked Carla who nodded.

"Yes we do. And yeah I know bits I suppose…..But I don't know everything yet. And I want too…..How old were ya when yer Mum died?!" She asked-him sensitively as she reached the hand-up that was resting on Peter's leg and gently allowed her fingers to toy with his beard.

"I was six…..Me and Susan…..We were both six….."

"Who's Susan?! Yer sister?!" Carla asked Peter quietly.

"Yeah…..My twin Sister….." Peter trailed-off as Carla smiled at him sweetly.

"Anyway….." He continued as he leaned-forward and rested his elbows onto his knees as Carla's hand that was draped-around Peter's shoulders, moved to rest on his back. "As you already know…..Dad sent us up to Scotland to live with Grandparents…..But we were just kids ya know?! I was still wondering where my Mum had gone, and then all of a sudden, my Dad's gone too…..I spent years convinced that he must have hated me…..I mean he must have….."

"And how did that feel?!" Carla questioned Peter softly.

"Horrible. I blamed myself and Susan…..I thought we must have done something to upset my Dad…..We must have made him hate us, because a Father couldn't just give-up on his kids like that…..He couldn't just hate-them unless they had done something to make him hate them…..I mean, it was like he didn't even want to know-us anymore Carla….." He revealed to the love of his life sadly as she sighed in sympathy for her boyfriend. There was one good thing about all of this for Carla…..It was helping her to see where all of Peter's troubles had begun, and where his thoughts and decisions about Simon had stemmed-from in the first-place.

"Has he ever told ya why he did what he did?!"

"Yeah…..When I first turned-up with Simon…..I had always wondered how it was possible to not love a little innocent child that was your own…..But then I suddenly realized when Simon landed-on my door-step…..That it wasn't because I didn't love Simon…..I just didn't know how to deal with him…..And during a man to man talk with my Dad…..He explained to me that-that was why he had to send Me and Susan away…..Because he couldn't cope with us all by himself…..He was grieving for his wife…..And the last-thing he wanted was two-crying kids around him all of the time. And I understand that now…..But as a 6 Year Old Kid…..It just messed-me up. What I needed was love and comfort…..And our Grandparents gave that to us as best they could but…..It's not the same…..You're not theirs ya know?! Well…..I guess you are kind-of…..In some-ways…..But I only wanted two things…..The first thing was that I wanted my Mum back…..Well that obviously couldn't happen so the next best thing was to have my Dad back…..Well I didn't get that either….." Peter paused as his voice shook slightly with emotion.

Carla noticed that he was struggling so gently rubbed his back. "How did your Mum die Baby?!" She asked-him ever-so softly. Infact, she asked-him so softly that her voice was barely even a whisper.

"She got electrocuted….." Peter simply replied with and Carla just frowned. It was amazing how both of their childhoods had been so different, but both so disastrous at the same-time. There was a time when Carla would have given anything to get-rid of her Mother…..But at the same-time…..All Peter had ever wanted as a Child was to get his Mother back…..It broke Carla's heart just thinking about-it…..

"Oh Baby that's awful." Carla replied and she paused for a couple of seconds before she then asked her next-question. "And what about Susan?! Where is she now?!"

"She died too….." Peter replied and Carla just sighed, and Peter only needed to look-at Carla to know what her next question was going to be. So much so that Carla didn't even need to ask-it. "…..Car-Crash….." He told-her truthfully.

"My goodness baby…..You ent 'alf been through it!" Carla told Peter with a gentle smile. "Yeah but so have you though…..And I'm not forgetting that….." Peter replied to Carla sweetly as he softly rubbed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "She's got a son though ya know?! He's still alive…..His names Adam…..He still lives up in Scotland though….." He trailed-off as Carla smiled at Peter. She was sure that there was this whole world of the Barlow Family out there that she didn't even-know could even have ever-existed.

"What about Deirdre & Tracy then?! When did they appear in your life?!"

"Well I visited a few-times once I started missing my Dad…..And then I joined the Navy…..And then when I had served my time there I came back to live with my Dad for a while…..But then Susan died and Tracy kind-of became my Sister, instead of just this girl who hung-around with Deirdre all of the time…..And we've always been close…..Ya know Tracy's never really got along with any of my girlfriends, that's just Tracy for ya…..But I never thought she could do what she and Rob did to ya Carla…..Not when I was involved in it all too…..I thought she had more respect for our family than that….." Peter trailed-off a little-angrily. He knew that Tracy was capable of pulling-off such a stunt, but he hadn't wanted to believe that she would actually go through with it all and actually do the stunt itself.

"I know Baby…..But let's not talk about that now ey?! Besides, I want to know about Simon…..How and when did he appear?!" Carla asked Peter sweetly.

"When he was four, his Mother, Lucy got terminally-ill…..And she wasn't going to be capable of looking-after Simon anymore…..So when he turned 5, she handed-him over to me, so I could look-after-him, and then not-long after that she died…..And there I was, left with a grieving-kid…..And ya know what?!…..Despite everything that I had been through up to that very-moment…..Having a helpless and innocent little-kid to look-after…..I truly believe that-that is what threw me off-of the old and beaten track Carla…..That was where the alcoholic problems began…..Although I suppose I had always been a heavy-drinker from the day I turned 18…..But I don't blame Simon in the slightest for that…..I just couldn't cope with him…..I didn't know how to cope with him…..I had to be taught…..I had to be shown how to look-after my own-son…..How bad is that ey?!" Peter said, asking Carla a rhetorical-question, so she remained silent and allowed Peter to carry-on talking because she could tell that he wanted too…..

"But that's when I really started to get to know my Dad…..Can you believe that ey?! It took Simon being pushed into my care for me to realize that my own Father really did love-Me…..That he really did care-about-me…..I have so much to thank Simon for Carla I really do….." Peter told the love of his life, getting tearful-now as he did-so.

"Heyyy no tears. Be strong baby." Carla told Peter sympathetically as she wiped his tears away with the pad of her thumb. "Peter You're Lucky. Because amongst all of the grief, all of the troubles and hurt that you must have been feeling…..Amongst all of that confusion…..You still had a family that loved-ya, and that wanted the best for ya….." Carla told Peter confidently but softly as she gently stroked his tear-stained cheek with her thumb.

"I know that Carla…..And through everything…..Through absolutely everything, I know that I love my Dad and that my Dad loves me….." Peter trailed-off quietly. "And I'm just sorry that you never had that with your Mum….."

"Hey at-least I knew my Mum…..You were only 6 when you lost your Mum…..But then I guess that…..She loved You and Susan more than life-itself…..And that's all that it really comes-down to in the end…..I suppose….." Carla said. "Love." She finished-with as she then kissed Peter on the lips.

"Carla you've never been more right." Peter replied-with as the couple-hugged each-other tightly.

"Baby…..I'm Never Wrong." Carla told Peter cheekily as she then kissed-him on the cheek, and then moved-onto his lips as they cuddled-up on the sofa together.

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	2. Chapter 2

_**So this fic was just gonna be a one shot, but seeing as that Carla & Deirdre scene cropped-up tonight (15**__**th**__** July 2013) I thought I'd use it as another excuse for Carla to find-out more about Peter and his troubles! **_

_**So this fic will be set the next morning when Carla meets Deirdre in the Street. **_

" 'Ey you! What happened to sending Peter home last-night?!" Carla called from across the Street as she spotted Deirdre heading home with a pint of milk in her hands.

"Oh sorry love!" Deirdre apologised. "I came across him in the Street yesterday evening. He just looked really down, and when he asked if he could stay the night, I just thought it would be better than him going-home and getting himself into yet another argument with you." She explained to her Step-Son's girlfriend.

"Oh right…..Well thanks for taking-care-of him Deirdre I really appreciate-it….." Carla told her potential Mother-In-Law both gratefully and truthfully.

"Oh Carla, don't even mention it love. Look, like I said last night, if you ever want to talk…..Ya know I may not be Peter's biological Mother, but I like to think that I know him pretty well…..And if it helps…..He was just as complicated when he was younger as he is now!" Deirdre said with a sympathetic-chuckle to Carla.

"Oh Yeah?!" Carla asked, giggling herself slightly as she thought about Peter as a young-lad.

Deirdre then sighed as she thought about what Peter had told her yesterday evening about his betting-shop going down the drain. "He's dead worried about the Bookies ya know Carla?! He thinks he's gonna go out of business….." She trailed-off sadly.

"I know he does and he will do if he keeps playing these silly betting games with the Punters!" Carla told Deirdre truthfully, still slightly annoyed at Peter's stupidity the day before.

"I know that Carla….."

"I mean why won't he just listen to me for a change?!" Carla ranted slightly.

"Because apart from Simon, that Bookies is the only thing that Peter's got to be proud-of…..Well in his eyes anyway….." Deirdre explained.

"Well what about his battle with the drink?!…..And what about his time in the Navy?! I mean, how come he was brave enough to fight for this country, but he can't seem to pluck up the courage to fight for his own business?!" Carla asked Deirdre, confusing herself slightly as she did-so.

"He wants to fight for it Carla, he really does. I can tell that he does. But he feels worthless, he feels like he can't do that job anymore…..He's giving-up, even though that's the last thing he really wants…..He wants to make you proud, and he's afraid that if he doesn't, then he'll loose you….." Deirdre told Carla truthfully, and Carla knew that the woman was right, but this whole situation still confused Carla to the max.

"Well that's just stupid…..He'll never loose-me…..I love him too much for that Deirdre you know that don't ya?!" Carla asked Deirdre as Deirdre then sighed as she thought back slightly.

"I know ya do Carla…..Listen, ya do know what all of this comes down to don't ya?! Where all of Peter's problems eventually relate back-to?!" Deirdre gently questioned Carla.

"No….." Carla trailed-off, but Deirdre knew that she would-do if she thought about-it hard-enough, so she decided to explain-to Carla.

"Loosing his Mum when he was a kid….." Deirdre trailed-off.

"But Deirdre that was years-ago now…..More than years ago….." Carla replied, confused as to how this had anything to do with Peter loosing the Bookies.

"When his Mum died, Ken sent-him away….." Deirdre began.

"Yeah I know that much Deirdre..." Carla answered-back to her Mother-In-Law.

"Peter's Mum died and as far-as Peter was concerned he then lost his own Father too…..And now he's afraid that if he looses the Bookies…..Then he'll loose you aswell….." Deirdre told-him sadly.

"Did Peter tell you this?!" Carla asked worriedly.

"No…..I mean, he probably hasn't even thought about this himself, but that's what it all stems down to Carla…..It was the same with Simon when he was landed-on Peter's lap…..He doesn't want to let anyone down…..Because he knows how it feels to be let-down…..He knows it in bundles…..But in doing that, he makes mistakes….." Deirdre softly explained-to Carla, who sighed, Deirdre was 100% Correct and she knew-it.

"Well in that case…..Peter needs to know how much I love-him, and that I'm never gonna leave-him…..And I want ya to know Deirdre that when I first fell-in love with Peter…..It wasn't because of his business, his money…..Not even that gorgeous face of his…..I fell-in love with him because of the caring, sweet and kind-hearted man that I know that he is…..He's helped-me through so much…..Goodness knows, he even saved-my-life after that vile monster Frank left-me in tatters….. And it's about time I returned the favour…..If he'd only let-me….." Carla told Deirdre truthfully, getting quite emotional as she did-so…..

"Oh I think he'll let ya if ya catch-him when he's in the right-mood…..He's back at No.1 now if you wanted-to come and see-him…..That is of-course if he's managed-to wake-himself-up yet…..He was sound-asleep on the sofa when I left for the shop at 7:30 this morning….." Deirdre lightly-joked with Carla.

"7:30?! Goodness-me Deirdre you've been gone a whole hour! Peter will be wondering where you've got-to with that milk! He's not worth even talking-to until he's had his cuppa coffee in the mornings!" Carla returned the joke to Deirdre and they laughed as Deirdre began to walk-off.

"Are ya coming-in then?!" Deirdre asked-her softly.

"Nah, I think I'll wait until he's had his cuppa coffee…..Then I'll come and find-him…..But thanks Deirdre, you've been really helpful these past-few-days…..But ey, tell-him to get his lazy-bum off-of that sofa!" Carla replied before the two-woman then began to head-off-into their separate directions for the day. Deirdre chuckled.

"I will do! Cya later Carla!" Deirdre said happily.

"Bye Deirdre….." Carla trailed-off as she wandered-over to the Factory to begin yet another days work with Michelle…..

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